Start
DinerQuest XII-2
Now finally your chance has come.
Continue
Today’s your eighteenth birthday, and you are now legally old enough to own and run your own business. It's time to put your plans into action.
Even since you were seventeen, your dream has been to open and manage a restaurant.
You’re bored of watching television now.
Do Nothing.
Okay. You [_____] for about ten seconds. Now what?
Check Your Messages
There is news about the new outpost on Hecate 9b. While there is no sign of life, robots with sophisticated AI have been discovered.
You watch an interactive detective story. You are able to solve the mystery easily, but only because the plot was so predictable.
Watch Television
You watch one of the three dozen food & cooking channels. Tofu has declined in popularity, but flerg stew has become trendy among elite Earth socialites.
What do you want to do?
You check your messages: mostly spam and special offers for cooking and restaurant management courses you can’t afford.
One does catch your attention, however.
Begin
Attached to this message is a ticket for an intergalactic flight which must be redeemed within the next two weeks. But first, please answer a few questions.
Congratulations [recipient name]! You have been chosen to receive the Gabulax Memorial Restaurant Internship Scholarship due to [recipient qualities go here]. You will gain experience at all levels of restaurant management at Slorg’s Diner, located on a terraformed moon in the vicinity of Arcturus.
Gleef-based dishes
What is your favorite cuisine?
Bromboware™ self-cooking meals
Vietnamese
Fine-Dining
What is the ideal restaurant environment?
Total Dive
Buffet
"Four-point-oh."
You answer:
"I prefer not to answer."
"One-point-si… er, four-point-oh."
What is your grade point average?
Thank you. Your application has been accepted. Please report on location within the next two weeks.
Excitedly start packing your things.
The next step is find your gate and board your flight.
A few days later, you’re at the spaceport. Your luggage is checked and you have your boarding pass in hand.
Check out the stores.
A woman in a captain’s uniform lounges against the wall, playing on her phone while drinking coffee.
You’re in the spaceport terminal. Various shops selling overpriced kitsch line the walkway as people, robots, and extraterrestrial beings lumber, roll, or undulate to their destination.
You’ve already bought all the overpriced kitsch you want right now.
Go to your gate.
Talk to the captain.
“Are you the captain of flight 431?”
“Goodbye."
“Oh, are you the scholarship winner? Here’s the key. The scholarship people set up some convoluted test to gauge your critical thinking skills. Seems like a hassle to me.”
She hands you a keycard.
You approach the captain and say:
“It’s not as exciting as it sounds,” she says, fiddling with her phone. “I spend most of the trip playing Tetris or Solitaire, to tell you the truth.”
“I’m supposed to ask for the keycard to the gate.”
“Do you like being a ship captain?”
“That’s me," she says. "Everyone’s boarded already except for one passenger. I’m just killing time until then.”
There is a keycard slot near the door.
Read the screen.
This is the gate to your ship. Unfortunately the door is closed, and you can’t board.
Leave the gate.
You insert the keycard. A screen on the door lights up with instructions.
You don’t have a keycard. You see instructions printed near the slot: “If you do not have a keycard, please speak to the captain.”
Can you solve this difficult puzzle?
No, this puzzle is too hard. Help!
Puzzle Complete
Before boarding your flight, the Gabulax Memorial Restaurant Internship Scholarship Committee for Gastronomical Excellence will now administer a Logical Reasoning Test to determine your fitness for [selected internship here].
Please read the Terms of Service.
Yes.
Do you accept these terms?
In the following document herewith, the party Gabulax Memorial Restaurant Internship Scholarship Committee for Gastronomical Excellence (GMRISCfGE) grants the following disclaimers of limitations of liability and privacy protections as follows. Effective Date: [enter date here] This privacy notice discloses the privacy practices for GMRISCfGE and our website. This privacy notice applies solely to information collected by this website, except where stated otherwise. It will notify you of the following: What information we collect; With whom it is shared; How it can be corrected; How it is secured; How policy changes will be communicated; and How to address concerns over misuse of personal data. Information Collection, Use, and Sharing We are the sole owners of the information collected on this site. We only have access to/collect information that you voluntarily give us via email or other direct contact from you. We will not sell or rent this information to anyone. We will use your information to respond to you, regarding the reason you contacted us. We will not share your information with any third party outside of our organization, other than as necessary to fulfill your request, e.g., to ship an order. Unless you ask us not to, we may contact you via email in the future to tell you about specials, new products or services, or changes to this privacy policy. Your Access to and Control Over Information You may opt out of any future contacts from us at any time. You can do the following at any time by contacting us via the email address or phone number provided on our website: See what data we have about you, if any. Change/correct any data we have about you. Have us delete any data we have about you. Express any concern you have about our use of your data Registration In order to use this website, a user must first complete the registration form. 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Cookies can also enable us to track and target the interests of our users to enhance their experience on our site. Usage of a cookie is in no way linked to any personally identifiable information on our site. Some of our business partners may use cookies on our site (e.g., advertisers). However, we have no access to or control over these cookies. Links This web site contains links to other sites. Please be aware that we are not responsible for the content or privacy practices of such other sites. We encourage our users to be aware when they leave our site and to read the privacy statements of any other site that collects personally identifiable information. Surveys & Contests From time-to-time our site requests information via surveys or contests. Participation in these surveys or contests is completely voluntary and you may choose whether or not to participate and therefore disclose this information. 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If you feel that we are not abiding by this privacy policy, well, sorry, but that’s the way it is.
Hold on. I want to go over this in detail.
I accept!! Please don't make me read all this!
Having completed the puzzle, the screen goes blank, and the door opens. You enter the ship and find your cabin.
After staring blankly at the puzzle for twenty-odd minutes, the captain takes pity on you and solves the puzzle for you.
Unfortunately, the Gabulax Memorial Restaurant Internship Scholarship Committee finds out about your low GPA and boots you out of the program. That doesn’t stop you from going out on your own to start your own restaurant, but without the necessary experience it crashes and burns, leaving you to embark on a new life mission: to become a dentist!
END.
It goes well, and three years later you open your own [fill-in the blanks here]. It becomes a modestly successful eatery, well-renowned throughout the spiral arm of the galaxy.
After a three-day flight in which a series of misadventures occurred, one of which required you to temporarily captain the ship and negotiate with a hostile fleet of space pirates, thwarting near disaster and saving everyone aboard, you have now arrived at Slorg’s Diner, ready to embark upon a much more interesting adventure: restaurant management!
Unfortunately, the Gabulax Memorial Restaurant Internship Scholarship Committee finds out that you didn’t do the jigsaw puzzle on your own and boot you out of the program. By luck, on your flight back home, you encounter the captain and tell her your sad story. She hires you to run the ship cafeteria in gratitude for rescuing her ship from the space pirates.